100 Days, 100 Dates:
Meta-Memoir of a Pansexual, Polyamorous, 39-year-old divorcée
Book Preface
A single candle flickers on a table for two. Across from me sits Jae, a charming, 6’ Eurasian-American with a baritone voice that seamlessly weaves sarcasm with kindness. His eyes are direct and warm. If it weren’t for those eyes, his grin would appear smug instead of charismatically quixotic. I’m accustomed to the intensity of his gaze, so I hold it for longer intervals than with most. The stifled excitement we feel being in one another’s presence, irrefutable.
“So… how was your week?” he asks.
“Dating like it’s my job. I didn’t land that streaming half-hour comedy.”
“How about your own projects? How’s the writing coming along?” Jae treads lightly.
“Not really feeling inspired, to be honest.” The words come with the shame of someone whose life was infinitely better than could have been predicted at birth, yet has only moved forward in spurts of divine intervention: intermittent refuge throughout years of slamming hard work into other people’s projects. The culmination meant nominal progress.
“Why don’t you write about your dates? Write a book. You could call it 100 Days, 200 Dates.”
“That’s insane. Even if I could pull that off, what would people think of me?” Salacious images from my most recent dating-bender flashed on an internal cinema screen. I counter “100 Days, 100 Dates.”
“Much more respectable,” he concurs.
What I’m telling you is, this book was my boyfriend’s idea.
“Learning and practicing the art of creating rather than waiting; throwing the net wide in order to meet a lot of people, men and women alike, who will enrich your life; operating from a mindset of abundance, not scarcity; developing and adhering to the attributes of a woman of high value; upholding your own standards; understanding that you are in control of your own choices—these skills strengthen your sense of self-worth and will improve all areas of your life. It’s the project of a lifetime.”
Matthew Hussey, Get the Guy: Learn Secrets of the Male Mind to Find the Man You Want and the Love You Deserve
“In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap; it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get to it. This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own cat-string theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps.”
Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood[…]who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
Theodore Roosevelt
“I want to show up and be seen in my work and in my life and if you’re going to show up and be seen there is only one guarantee and that is you will get your ass kicked.”
Brene Brown reflecting on Roosevelt’s arena speech